It's so hard to get back into recovery after falling so far back into your disease. My disease once again became my life. It was running me and everything around me. Driving me crazy!!! I know I can do this! I want to do this (most of the time) Sorry if I start to ramble I am a bit... umm... somethign... yeah. Anyway, I want to start and EDA meeting in Tampa. I amgoing to pour my heart and soul into this until girls like us can stop suffering and being bombarded my the media to be the size of a rail. and I need to let go of my need for control. What is control? Who has it? I don't know? I just want a normal life, a family, a career, a perfect life as perfect as it could possibilly be. I'm so just UUGGHGHGHG right now!!